Our Responsibility: Teach Our Children How To Talk Like A Pirate Early For Future Success

Amy the pirate reading tales of the high seas

There’s no question that the video mentioned this morning is valuable resource for all of us, but our responsibility to our nation’s future demands more. The good folks at Cook Memorial Library in Tamworth NH are an example to us all with their series of instructional sessions in preparation for Talk Like A Pirate Day.

Extra: start your instruction with this list of phrases:

  • “Arrrgh-Bring me a servin’ wench to bid me me pleasures!”
  • “Argh-lad, is that Lee Elliott over there – or am I as mad as a salted herring?”
  • “Billions of blue blistering barnacles!” – Oh My God!
  • “Hop to it, dogs: Thar be leftover catering booty in the break room for plunderin’.”
  • “Sixteen men an’ a copier mess — yo, ho, ho and a bottle of toner.”
  • “Avast, men! Get a spyglass full of the doubloons on *that* vessel.”
  • “I’ll be keelhaulin’ the next one of ye what leaves ye filthy Tupperware in the break room sink!”
  • “Arrr, matey, have your parrot call my parrot and we’ll one day partake of noontime grub together.”
  • “No, Bob Dess, I will not ‘shiver your timbers.’ I will, however, call my attorney.”
  • “To arms, me lads! The spoils of the snack machine shall be ours, to each in a fortieth share!”
  • “Me cell phone fell deep into Davy Jones’ locker Nobody flush… I’ll go get me hook.”
  • “Save that last donut for me, unless ya care to feel the cold steel of my hook hand up yer arse, matey.”
  • “Be that a peg leg, or arrr ye just happy to cast yer eyes upon me?”
  • “Fax ahoy, mateys!”
  • “Avast! A Team Builders meeting off our schedule’s port bow! Scuttle yer productivity, mateys, and prepare to be bored-ed!”
  • “No increase in me pay? Arrr, boss, let me tell ye where ye can store that hook!”
  • “Hold that elevator, ye whoreson bilge rat!”
  • “Ye bent my ear with yer lubberly questions WITHOUT tryin a reboot first? Arrr! It’s the plank for you, ye mangy cur… and thank ye for calling Microsoft Tech Support!”
  • “Arrr, load the Canon, wench, and collate me copies!”
  • “Avast, ya scurvy knave! Brave be ye, for certain, but arrr ye willin’ ta die fer that parking spot?”
  • “Twenty paces past the Magic Fountain of Water… bear ye left past the Chamber of Meetings… and a minute’s voyage down the Great Carpeted Hallway… the unisex bathroom’ll be on yer port side.”
  • “Aye, if it’s a large treasure chest and amazin’ booty ye seek, fix yer gaze upon the receptionist.”
  • “Boss, I’ll be borrowin’ a coupla doubloons from petty cash fer some Ho Ho’s and a bottle of rum.”
  • “Aaaarrrrrghhh! Who among us floated the air mead?”
  • “Arrr! I’ve arrr!anged for Arrr!lene in arrr!chives to send up that arrr!ticle on arrr!bitration.”
  • “Avast, ye demon copy machine! Taste the wrath of my arse!”
  • “Arrr, I have made note of yer demands and I have but one question for ye: Will ye be wantin’ slivers o’ potato fried in the popular French style with that?”