TeamTigerAwesome‘s Top Gun: A Requiem For Goose is more than funny, it’s the sort of thing a person should mine for insults and one-liners to use later. Of course, the recent Tom Cruise flap doesn’t dampen it any.
From the title cards:
On March 3, 1919 President Harding established the swingenest, scientologist, dew drop of a flight school in all 38.
Now, you boys may think that you are the high-hattenest group of flyboys ever to shoot down a Mrs. Grundy.
I’m gonna make you better.
So I ask of you?
Who among you wish to fornicate with immortality?
I dare say, me and my favorite Irishman, Goose, are the Real McCoy.
See that Sock Dollager over there?
The skirts call him Iced-Man.
She has misplaced feelings of love.
I despise it when she has misplaced feelings of love.
That Jester didn’t have a flapper’s chance against us Protestants!
I dare say you, you could call me Grover Cleveland…For I just orgazimized, on non-consecutive terms.
You’re still a splifficated, piker as I ever saw. But you can be my wing man anytime.
Applesauce. You can be mine.