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Top Gun: A Requiem For Goose

TeamTigerAwesome‘s Top Gun: A Requiem For Goose is more than funny, it’s the sort of thing a person should mine for insults and one-liners to use later. Of course, the recent Tom Cruise flap doesn’t dampen it any.

From the title cards:

On March 3, 1919 President Harding established the swingenest, scientologist, dew drop of a flight school in all 38.

Now, you boys may think that you are the high-hattenest group of flyboys ever to shoot down a Mrs. Grundy.

I’m gonna make you better.

So I ask of you?

Who among you wish to fornicate with immortality?

I dare say, me and my favorite Irishman, Goose, are the Real McCoy.

See that Sock Dollager over there?

The skirts call him Iced-Man.

She has misplaced feelings of love.

I despise it when she has misplaced feelings of love.

That Jester didn’t have a flapper’s chance against us Protestants!

I dare say you, you could call me Grover Cleveland…For I just orgazimized, on non-consecutive terms.

You’re still a splifficated, piker as I ever saw. But you can be my wing man anytime.

Applesauce. You can be mine.