Naming things is hard. Naming people is harder.

Michael Sherrod and Matthew Rayback scoured American census records searching for atrocious baby names. The results are compiled in an amusing little book called Bad Baby Names: The Worst True Names Parents Saddled Their Kids With—and You Can Too!. Among the names they discovered were “Toilet Queen,” “Leper,” “Cholera,” “Typhus,” “Stud Duck,” “Loser,”224 “Fat Meat,” “Meat Bloodsaw,” “Cash Whoredom,”“Headless,” “Dracula,” “Lust,” “Sloth,” “Freak Skull,” “Sexy Chambers,” “Tiny Hooker,” “Giant Pervis,” “Acne Fountain,” “Legend Belch,” and “Ghoul Nipple.” The forces of darkness were particularly well represented, with a “Satan,” a “Lucifer,” a “Zombie,” a “Demon,” at least eight children named “Evil,”and at least ten named “Hell.”

That’s just the start. Carlton F.W. Larson, UC Davis, School of Law professor quoted Sherrod and Rayback’s work in a much larger review of the constitutional dimensions of parental naming rights. We might laugh at the names above, but Larson uncovered a mishmash of laws and regulations regarding names that in turn reflect presumptions, biases, technical limitations, and some earnest attempts to protect children from their parents.