Perfect for the Church Social

Hey, so what about the local sports team and their player that’s excelling with that thing that he does?

Some people like to argue so much they run out of material. Or, maybe it’s like what Rob Gordon says in High Fidelity: “it’s not what you’re like, it’s what you like.” So maybe arguments erupt as we try to establish and defend our identity (evidence: teenagers). If true, and our identity is made up of the pop-culture elements that we consume, then what are the key traits we must evaluate?

Fortunately, Cox News Wire has thrown us a bone. They’ve listed the 15 most important pop-culture arguments.

[b]1. Ginger vs. Mary Ann[/b]

The classic. No scientifically valid poll appears to have been conducted to resolve this age-old frat-house question, but Mary Ann would win in a landslide. Probably due to her lower maintenance and those cut-offs.

[b]2. Capt. Kirk vs. Capt. Picard[/b]

Star Trek fans love wrangling over which leader was superior. One Web site lists 1,646 reasons why Kirk is better, but Picard has his defenders, too. A clear sign some people have abundant leisure time.

[b]3. Superman vs. Batman [/b]

Superman wins, but most fans think Batman is cooler, particularly after he was reinvented as the Dark Knight.

[b]4. John vs. Paul [/b]

At the height of Beatlemania, this debate raged among female fans, and the perception was that the shallow girls liked Paul McCartney and the brainy girls liked John Lennon.

[b]5. CNN vs. FOX [/b]

They’re setting aside their ideological differences to pray for the same thing: a live, televised Kobe Bryant trial.

[b]6. East Coast rap vs. West Coast rap [/b]

What happens when you start believing your own hype.

[b]7. Star Wars: The Phantom Menace vs. Star Wars: Attack of the Clones [/b]

Fans still dispute which one was worse. Maybe the third installment will inhale most strenuously of all and settle the debate.

[b]8. Clay vs. Ruben [/b]

For a brief period this spring, the two American Idol finalists had the country more divided than Bush vs. Gore in 2000.

[b]9. Britney vs. Christina [/b]

A shelf life only marginally longer than Clay vs. Ruben.

[b]10. King Kong vs. Godzilla [/b]

If they re-made it today, they’d spend $200 million on computer-generated effects and $99 on the script.

[b]11. Punk vs. disco [/b]

In the late ’70s, this seemed like a battle for the soul of music. Funny thing — both survived and influenced different areas of music today.

[b]12. Beta vs. VHS [/b]

Go to Blockbuster. You’ll see who won.

[b]13. Siskel vs. Ebert [/b]

Off-camera, there was a delightfully prickly competitiveness between these two, and that’s why no one has ever matched them.

[b]14. MAC vs. PC [/b]

In terms of market share, the PC won a long time ago, but Mac users never say die. Or crash.

[b]15. Curly vs. Shemp [/b]

No contest.