The Chuck Norris Meme

Chuck Norris Facts.

I first caught up with all this at Matt‘s blog, but on the radio out here in Oregon today they kept inserting Chuck Norris legends between songs. Here’s a bunch from Chuck Norris Facts:

  • When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.
     
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
     
  • There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of creatures Chuck Norris has allowed to live.
     
  • Outer space exists because it’s afraid to be on the same planet with Chuck Norris.
     
  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
     
  • Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
     
  • Chuck Norris is the reason why Waldo is hiding.
     
  • Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.
     
  • There is no chin behind Chuck Norris’ beard. There is only another fist.
     
  • When Chuck Norris does a pushup, he isn’t lifting himself up, he’s pushing the Earth down.
     
  • Chuck Norris is so fast, he can run around the world and punch himself in the back of the head.
     
  • Chuck Norris’ hand is the only hand that can beat a Royal Flush.
     
  • There is no such thing as global warming. Chuck Norris was cold, so he turned the sun up.
     
  • Chuck Norris can lead a horse to water AND make it drink.
     
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t wear a watch, HE decides what time it is.
     
  • Chuck Norris gave Mona Lisa that smile.
     
  • Chuck Norris can slam a revolving door.
     
  • Chuck Norris does not get frostbite. Chuck Norris bites frost
     
  • Remember the Soviet Union? They decided to quit after watching a DeltaForce marathon on Satellite TV.
     
  • Contrary to popular belief, America is not a democracy, it is a Chucktatorship.

Not that it matters, but Ed Friedlander, M.D., Pathologist apparently uses Chuck Norris as an example in his classes (search, you’ll find it)

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