How to Have Fun Like I Just Did

Start with approx 1 cup of bacon grease collected over time just like Jon’s mom said to do.

Pour grease into small disposable aluminum loaf pan.

Insert pan with grease into burning wood stove.




Watch as oil ignites with a whooosh that’s vaguely reminiscent of a chimney fire.

No, that woooosh is exactly how you remember that chimney fire.

Close stove air intakes and continue to watch fire.

Watch oil flames wisp around in firebox, watch flu thermometer climb over 800 degrees.

Wonder where that fire extinguisher is, after all.

Give up looking for fire extinguisher and consider wet blankets or baking powder. Lots of baking powder.

Watch flames, thinking that you might as well know what it looked like before it burned your house down.

Catch a glimpse of something and think “is that thermometer falling?” Are those flames receding?

Doubt yourself and your memory of the previous thermometer readings.

Doubt your sight. Blame wishful thinking.

Praise God (get religion, for a moment). Believe in miracles.

Continue on with evening.

9 thoughts on “How to Have Fun Like I Just Did

  1. Dear, we came here via google because we’ve got your fire extinguishers. We wanted to have fun with them so then it’s like google turns up your page, and you don’t list how to have fun with these extinguishers. I hate you.

    hope your house burns down

  2. Hey!

    Have you ever tried this?

    – Put an egg up your pussy, and squeeze it out (without breaking it?)

    – Use a banana as a dildo, and taking the skin of and let your man eat his best banana split ever?

    – Peal an orange, insert the parts of the orange in your pussy and allow your man to get fresh orange juice?

    – Have you ever made a pussy out of a water melon? I bet you will come within 8 min!

    If you really want to have fun, visit our web site 🙂

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