Sure it’s a promo for his new book, but Bob Sutton is offering us all a chance to see if we’re assholes with the Asshole Rating Self-Exam (ARSE).

After 24 questions like “You secretly enjoy watching other people suffer and squirm” (hey, what’s wrong with a little schaedenfreud?) you’ll find yourself placed somewhere on the scale from possible liar to full-blown certified asshole.

• You don’t sound like a certified asshole, unless you are fooling yourself.
• You sound like a borderline certified asshole, perhaps the time has come to start changing your behavior before it gets worse.
• You sound like a full-blown certified asshole to me, get help immediately. But, please, don’t come to me for help, as I would rather not meet you.

And if that isn’t enough self-abuse, another quiz asks “do you make air travel miserable for everyone else?”

I take some offense at the suggestion in one question that asking for extra refreshments is bad behavior, as I feel I can never get enough to drink on a plane, but at least the scale seems a little easier:

• You are too perfect to be true, I don’t believe you.
• You sound like a generally civilized passenger to me.
• You are a borderline “Flying ARSE,”
• You are a certified “Flying ARSE.” I hope that you don’t sit near me.
• You are a certified “Flaming Flying ARSE.” I wish that airlines could ban you from flying.

quiz, personality test, asshole, Bob Sutton, Robert I. Sutton, The No Asshole Rule, book

I just love tests (previously: psychotic, leadership style in movies and famous people in history, and eccentric or autistic), so I was quick to try myself at this one when Al emailed me. It’s about alcohol, and like most tests, it’s not about getting the answer right, but giving the answer that the test writer wants. So it’s flawed, but it’s a bit of fun. Here are my results:

Score: Bacardi 151
Congratulations! You’re 137 proof, with specific scores in beer (40), wine (116), and liquor (147).

All right. No more messing around. Your knowledge of alcohol is so high that you have drinking and getting plastered down to a science. Sure, you could get wasted drinking beer, but who needs all those trips to the bathroom? You head straight for the bar and pick up that which is most efficient.

My test tracked 4 variables How you compared to other people your age and gender:

You scored higher than 69% on proof
You scored higher than 67% on beer index
You scored higher than 94% on wine index
You scored higher than 99% on liquor index

Try your own mind at the Alcohol Knowledge Test.

tags: alcohol, alcohol iq, bacardi 151, bar skills, beer, knowledge, liquor, personality test, personality tests, test, tests, wine