Liam Lynch explains the origin of the video, but what was Dan Deacon thinking as he recorded the audio? Of all the free MP3 downloads he offers, Two Friends from the Acorn Master album may be the most, um, listenable.

Thanks to daily songsmith Corey B (Corey Blanchette) for the tip.

What happens when one of Google’s street view camera vehicles encounters a low bridge or a muddy Australian road?

One of the many odd questions this prank job application asks is: What Are You Willing To Wear At Work? (Check All That Apply)

• Paper Hat
• Tie
• Hairnet
• Spandex
• Singing Omelet Costume

Tankmen is funny, no doubt, but I wonder what it means when we’re deeply embroiled in two of the longest running armed conflicts of US history that we find it so easy to make comedy about war.

From the best-of-Craigslist: Manly Bike for Sale:

What kind of bike? I don’t know, I’m not a bike scientist. What I am though is a manly guy looking to sell his bike. This bike is made out of metal and kick ass spokes. The back reflector was taken off, but if you think that deters me from riding at night, you’re way wrong. I practiced ninja training in Japan’s mount Fuji for 5 years and the first rule they teach about ninja biking is that back reflectors let the enemy know where you are. Not having a rear reflector is like saying “FUCK YOU CAR, JUST TRY AND FIND ME”.

The bike says Giant on the side because it’s referring to my junk, but rest assured even if you have tiny junk that Giant advertisement is going to remain right where it is. I bought this bike for 300 dollars from a retired mercenary that fought in both World War 1 and World War 2 and had his right arm bitten off by a shark in the Phillipines while stationed there as a shark handler. When he sold it to me I had to arm wrestle him for the honor to buy it. I broke his arm in 7 places when I did. He was so impressed with me he offered me to be his son but I thought that was sissy shit so I said no way.

There’s more, read it.

These bikes are not from the listing. However, the picture is tagged “manly bikes.”

Thanks to Roger OZ for the awesome photo. And thanks to Cliff for the Craigslist tip.

From the Borowitz Report:

In the first two weeks since the election, President-elect Barack Obama has broken with a tradition established over the past eight years through his controversial use of complete sentences, political observers say.

“Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement,” says Mr. Logsdon.  “If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist.” More…

Story via, picture from jmtimages.

The TechnoViking will have you scratching your head for the first 90 seconds, then ROFLing for a while. Not enough yet? Watch him dance to “It’s a Piece Of Cake To Bake A Pretty Cake.” This one claims to be the original, and though the sound is bad the video quality is much better than the others.

Thing is, now that you’ve watched it a couple times, did he stop a pickpocket or admonish a groper at the beginning?

You’ll find more than a few of Demetri Martin’s (his site) videos on the web (one, two, quotes). Though I think he’s particularly good at powerpoint comedy and this flipchart thing, you’d think he doesn’t like to do interviews.

Physically located in Katoomba; found in Seb Chan’s photo stream.

Maslow without the pyramid, found at Jessica Hagy’s “Indexed”. She posts new explanations of the world daily. More available in her book.

Found in the MySQL 5.0 Reference Manual:

• Related(g1,g2,pattern_matrix)
  Returns 1 or 0 to indicate whether the spatial relationship specified by pattern_matrix exists between g1 and g2. Returns –1 if the arguments are NULL. The pattern matrix is a string. Its specification will be noted here if this function is implemented.

(emphasis mine.)

Richard Stallman’s Soulja Boy dance, MIT style (via).

Like Mr. Ranganathong said: “The intellect cannot be tied down with a decimal thong.” (via)

How to pick up girls in the library. Indeed, it’s Picking Up Girls Made Easy.

girls, pick up lines, funny, advice

From Kim to Zach to me to you: Bush Vs. Zombies.

Now we know: the guy doesn’t understand the difference between fact and fiction. Most people thought Shaun of the Dead was horror/comedy, not documentary. Poor W probably read The Zombie Survival Guide as an instruction manual (don’t show him How To Survive a Robot Uprising, please).

Gah. The guy hired a cannibal, fears animal-human hybrids, and flip-flops on evolution.

zombie, zombies, Bush vs. Zombies, war, War On Zombies, national defense, funny, video, casual friday

Not LMAO, certainly not ROFLcopter-ingly funny, but funny enough to want to snap a picture, and good enough for casual Friday here.

The boat in the parking lot, UPS vs. FedEx, and Hoe For Hire are all easy enough to understand (though they leave me open to easy criticism). The fourth photo is of some books on an anonymous shelf: look closely at “Library Trends, 1985” and others.

boat, hoe, books, library trends, UPS, FedEx, photos, funny

Beginning of a bad day…

I rear-ended a car this morning. I knew it was going to be a really bad day!

The driver got out of the other car and I looked down and realized he was a dwarf!!!

He looked up at me and said “I’M NOT HAPPY!”

So I said, “Well then, which one are you?”

And that’s how the fight started.

Our diets, our health

A doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”

After several seconds of quiet, a 75 year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said “wedding cake.”

Because I’m a man…

Because I’m a man , when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.

Post hoc disclaimer: people forward me some strange stuff, sometimes it gets posted. It’s all in the tradition of casual Fridays here.

casual fridays, casual friday, joke, humor, funny, bad jokes

There is little doubt that the great diversity of styles and techniques of bowlers from countries enjoying test match status has helped to shape the history of [the sport]. With the recent world-wide implementation of professional coaching schemes, which generally teach only one, or perhaps two optimal ways…, bowling could be in danger of losing its technical diversity. Are we therefore on the verge of a new era in which the art of bowling is irretrievably lost? Possibly! However, as discussed below, the biomechanical principles underlying the bowling technique reveal some interesting new facts.

Unfortunately (for my purposes), that quote is about the wrong kind of bowling.

Anybody who’s seen me bowl knows how bad I am, even if I am among the few people I know who’s been to the bowling museum and hall of fame. Seeing these videos makes me tremendously thankful that nobody’s had a camera around when I’ve been throwing gutter balls down the lanes.

video, bowling, funny, embarrassing

The photo is from Jessamyn, who declared it Groan-worthy. I’m still grinning about it. Reminds me of the time Homer said “Yeah, right Lisa. A wonderful, magical animal.”

pork, sausage, hog, sign, funny, photo

My nephew checked his email while he was here this morning and this was the first thing in his inbox. Maybe it’s because he’s 17 and my humor is at about the same level, but both of us were cracking up over it.

Miserable attempt at recovering my dignity with serious criticism: Will Farrell and landlord prove there is no meaning (or humor) without context. Would it be as funny without Will Farrell (with full afro!)? Or if the landlord wasn’t an innocent looking young girl?

will farrell, landlord, video, i want my money, funny, movie

Among the pop-culture viral videos I apparently missed is Matt Harding’s dancing. I had to turn to Wikipedia for an explanation:

Harding was known for a particular dance, and while videotaping each other in Vietnam, his traveling companion suggested he add the dance. The videos were uploaded to his website for friends and family to enjoy. Later, Harding edited together 15 dance scenes, all with him center frame, with the background music “Sweet Lullaby.”

The video was passed around by e-mail and eventually became “viral”, with his server getting 20,000 or more hits a day as it was discovered, generally country by country due to language barriers, before the launch of major video upload sites.

Matt Harding, dance, dancing, funny, video, where in the world is Matt

Bill Gurstelle thought the exploding balloons were as funny as I did, and now I understand why: the contributing editor of Make magazine knows his way around improvised munitions.

He also knows YouTube videos of oppressed geeks getting back at The Man with potato guns is a good marketing ploy for his audience. Whoosh Boom Splat appears to be his latest book. Amazon doesn’t let me look inside, but how can you go wrong with projects like these?

• The Jam Jar Jet — the simple pulse jet engine that roars
• The Elastic Zip Cannon — a membrane-powered shooter that packs a wallop
• The Mechanical Toe — a bungee-powered kicking machine
• The Vortex Launcher — a projectile shooter that uses air bullets for ammunition
• The Clothespin Snap Shooter — the PG-17 version of a clothespin gun that fires fiery projectiles
• The Architronito — the steam-powered cannon conceived by Leonardo da Vinci

Bill Gurstelle, William Gurstelle, fun, funny, improvised explosives, potato gun, projects