Beginning of a bad day…
I rear-ended a car this morning. I knew it was going to be a really bad day!
The driver got out of the other car and I looked down and realized he was a dwarf!!!
He looked up at me and said “I’M NOT HAPPY!”
So I said, “Well then, which one are you?”
And that’s how the fight started.
Our diets, our health
A doctor was addressing a large audience in Tampa. “The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago. Red meat is awful. Soft drinks corrode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. High fat diets can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water. But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?”
After several seconds of quiet, a 75 year-old man in the front row raised his hand, and softly said “wedding cake.”
Because I’m a man…
Because I’m a man , when the car isn’t running very well, I will pop the hood and stare at the engine as if I know what I’m looking at. If another man shows up, one of us will say to the other, “I used to be able to fix these things, but now with all these computers and everything, I wouldn’t know where to start.” We will then drink a couple of beers and break wind, as a form of holy communion.
Post hoc disclaimer: people forward me some strange stuff, sometimes it gets posted. It’s all in the tradition of casual Fridays here.
casual fridays, casual friday, joke, humor, funny, bad jokes
Posted August 17, 2007 by Casey Bisson
Categories: Questionable...funny. Pointless.. Tags: bad jokes, casual friday, casual fridays, funny, humor, joke.
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I’m all for casual Fridays but I do just have one question: is wearing no pants considered TOO casual for casual Friday? Man, I hope not.
The beginning of the bad day was my favorite.
[...] back to the holbox painting. Â i worked on the background. Â there’s 2 palapas and an airplane back there, and now that’s a little clearer. Â but you still won’t see it without knowing there’s an airport down the street. Â and i put some clear wax on the road and worked some more blues and purples into it. Â and i worked on the palm trees with a fan brush, enabling me to put on actual palm frond-looking spiky leaf things. Â of course, all this came for naught on the left palm tree, the one behind the house. Â when i went to melt that white wax, i ended up obliterating the palm details, because all that lovely green and textured wax turned into a transparent pool of floating pigments, and started to churn. Â not happy. [...]