How to Have Fun Like I Just Did

Start with approx 1 cup of bacon grease collected over time just like Jon’s mom said to do.

Pour grease into small disposable aluminum loaf pan.

Insert pan with grease into burning wood stove.

Wait.

Watch.

Wait.

Watch as oil ignites with a whooosh that’s vaguely reminiscent of a chimney fire.

No, that woooosh is exactly how you remember that chimney fire.

Close stove air intakes and continue to watch fire.

Watch oil flames wisp around in firebox, watch flu thermometer climb over 800 degrees.

Wonder where that fire extinguisher is, after all.

Give up looking for fire extinguisher and consider wet blankets or baking powder. Lots of baking powder.

Watch flames, thinking that you might as well know what it looked like before it burned your house down.

Catch a glimpse of something and think “is that thermometer falling?” Are those flames receding?

Doubt yourself and your memory of the previous thermometer readings.

Doubt your sight. Blame wishful thinking.

Praise God (get religion, for a moment). Believe in miracles.

Continue on with evening.

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 This entry was written by Casey and posted on December 8, 2003 at 9:04 pm and filed under Warren with the following tags: . Bookmark the permalink. Follow any comments here with the RSS feed for this post. Post a comment or leave a trackback: Trackback URL.

8 Comments

  1. po po
    Posted July 20, 2005 at 9:21 pm | Permalink

    Dear MaisonBisson.com, we came here via google because we’ve got your fire extinguishers. We wanted to have fun with them so then it’s like google turns up your page, and you don’t list how to have fun with these extinguishers. I hate you.

    hope your house burns down
    -

  2. jalal
    Posted September 12, 2005 at 7:37 am | Permalink

    i want to have fun

  3. jalal
    Posted September 12, 2005 at 7:40 am | Permalink

    yes

  4. Cliff
    Posted September 12, 2005 at 11:18 am | Permalink

    That guy who wants your house to burn down is mean!

  5. AYMAN
    Posted October 3, 2007 at 9:47 pm | Permalink

    SEX VIDIO

  6. vidhya
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 1:09 am | Permalink

    i just like to fun with u.

  7. muthu
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 1:12 am | Permalink

    FUN AND FUN

  8. vidhya
    Posted May 7, 2008 at 1:16 am | Permalink

    FUNANDFUN

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